Sweet Insanity
by SarahSwan7
Summary: A collection of poems about Adam and Ros' relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my attempt to capture Adam and Ros' relationship through poems, which are linked to specific episodes/based around the time of specific episodes. It's different from my normal ramblings but if you enjoy it please leave a review!**

 _5.1-5.2 - Ros_

Drinking wine and

Dressing up with

Easy smiles and luxurious food.

A dream date:

Until the glass is shattered and

Our reality breaks in.

...

Eyes flickering,

Smile still in place.

The scent of the same perfume.

Wine coupled with grief

A broken apology

An empty flat.

...

The thief had already struck

Goodbye to safety, security

Goodbye to a chance at love

It was nice while it lasted.


	2. Chapter 2

_5.3 – Adam_

Your disdain suits me fine

And your smile holds no allure

You're a resource I require:

Formality, nothing more.

My dead wife's perfume punctuates the air

And I see her, just her, but –

she isn't there.


	3. Chapter 3

_5.4 – Ros_

Now my blood will simmer

However sweetly you smile.

A shred of trust, burning out,

Its ashes flickering, flitting

Any attraction dying, reluctantly...

...

I veil my hostility with a smile

As I distance myself from you –

The scar exists now, permanently,

Whatever you say or do.


	4. Chapter 4

_5.5 – Adam_

Our mistrust is stifling.

The air is stale, my words

brittle bones that choke,

your eyes digging needles into my conscience,

determined for blood.

One glance is enough: fatal.

Routine and formality are our friends, our barriers

To stop the hot hatred from bubbling over,

Sweeping everything up in its path, as you

smile, demurely, and rip

an enraptured whole into devastated halves.

...

And on another day, you could do the same

But with my heart, bleeding, left out in the cold

to the mercy of merciless isolation.


	5. Chapter 5

_5.6-5.7 – Ros_

An empty flat, ringing with silence.

A cold side of the bed, like a corpse.

A heart beginning to thaw, but in vain

because

you're trapped, waiting for someone

who only exists locked in memories.

I'm here, but miles away, next to you,

Sleeping alone

Breathing in an empty flat

Silently willing you to look my way.


	6. Chapter 6

_5.8 – Adam_

How is it that  
Every single day

Life laughs at you and

Pushes you away?

...

Moments like this make memories rust;

Everything gold will turn to dust.


	7. Chapter 7

_5.9 – Ros_

Battling your mind

Your purpose left behind

A thousand empty promises.

Your old life is something you mime

Half-heartedly, words sharp but shallow,

Voice crisp but cracking,

Unsaid things jumbled with motions never done

An intricate web of lies you have spun

But you won't get me to believe this one.


	8. Chapter 8

_5.10 – Ros & Adam_

For the last time I see you for what you are

Time dissolves, achingly, leaving its scar.

I've raked through all of your layers of lies

And found a human in a complex disguise

In this life you never got to wear the crown,

And now your body is blending, dragged out to drown.

...

For the first time my limbs don't weigh me down

My grief-stricken soundtrack doesn't make a sound

No more memories like broken glass

My feelings laughing, numb at last

"She's gone!" they call, "And so are you!"

My body is free, taken out into the blue.


	9. Chapter 9

_Adam – 6.1_

It's just formality to you, I imagined

Just work, just coffee, just a smile

Just a lot of nothing that means everything now.

A year stumbled past and

I stumbled out, healing but oblivious...

Maybe, not everything, and everyone

Has to end like that.

I missed something.

I'm missing something.

And now I've missed my chance.


	10. Chapter 10

_Ros – 6.2_

Empty shells of promises.

A chance I can't afford,

but a tiny urge to entertain hope

begins to gnaw at my denial.

…..

And then, without warning,

for some poisonous reason,

Fate decided on an obstacle,

and made her beautiful,

and fixed your heart on her.


	11. Chapter 11

_Adam – 6.3_

It's gone beyond operations.

There are anonymous hotel

rooms, lavish. Dull safe

houses, grey with cold and

secrets. Clandestine coffee

shop chats. A different face,

the same desire: I crave and

hate it all.

The fragments of this fiction are

blending with my reality,

and you, the bitter bystander,

won't come to my defence. Not again.


	12. Chapter 12

_6.4 – Ros_

An eyelash on a pillow

A shoe strewn on the floor

A tickle of perfume graces the air

Where she stood just before.

…..

I ignore your explanations

Your sweet words, all your lies

I feigned indifference for a while, but

you've seen through my disguise

…..

And then there were three, all attempting

to capture love; that transient prize.


	13. Chapter 13

_Ros – 6.5-6.6_

I cut any attachments ruthlessly,

Desperately,

But they came clawing back.

The room reeked of

your death and my despair.

I cried and you came back to life

…..

The next day you were quiet

And I was quietly glad.

One look, one word,

And all of my promises would topple

like a tower of cards,

as affection assaulted my heart once again.


	14. Chapter 14

_Adam – 6.6_

It's finished.

Operational notes to write,

Emotions to store away,

Apologies to say,

Memories to erase.

…

A funeral to attend:

an anonymous man outside

in the rain, no invitation.

…

The tables have turned, ugly and unfair

My game, her rules, her smile, my despair.


	15. Chapter 15

_6.7 – Ros_

The air stutters, separating us.

For a moment I pretend that my

heart is free of your fingerprints;

but you're a step closer, closer still.

I shed my guard for a second...

…..

For those few hours we spent

I deceived you.

Every one of those short, sweet seconds,

you loved who you thought I was

and I hated who I chose to be.


	16. Chapter 16

_6.8 – Adam_

Each kiss was poison on my mouth

Your words like empty coffins

Your hands painted with blood

Your eyes are hard, broken diamonds,

and yet

you stare, like I am the traitor.

My voice says old, venomous

words of your fresh betrayal.

Your silence tells everything I need to know.

…..

I unstitch the last year in my head

And throw it all aside

You made promises you'll never keep:

You laughed, and then you lied.


	17. Chapter 17

_6.9 – Adam_

Your hairbrush by the window, glinting gold

Your absence marked by the world, bitterly cold

…

My arms empty, wishing you were there

My words unheard, dying in the air

…

Your life discarded, now officially dead.

Your luck shining, a new adventure ahead

…

My anger bubbling away, burning red

Seared into my mind, the things I never said.


	18. Chapter 18

_6.10 – Ros_

One phone call away

One postcard, one letter,

One old dead-drop, one new rendezvous,

One apology.

….

Two hearts, at last, stitched back together,

Beaten, but beating, unevenly, forever.


	19. Chapter 19

_7.1 – Adam_

One glance. My heart in my throat.

My tongue heavy with

A thousand things to tell you,

But, cruelly, inevitably,

My conscience comes knocking.

Bomb. In the boot.

Say goodbye and drive away;

The reunion can wait for another day

….

Such bitter fate, to part in this way.


	20. Chapter 20

_7.1-7.2 - Ros_

Eyes locked

Fate sealed

One half, watching, helpless

The other, crackling with adrenaline,

but

it isn't enough.

…

You don't know what happened next

You won't know what we started

You can't know that we struggled to stop it.

…

What's done is done

You'd have done the same for me

All that's left is blood and

Sweet insanity.


End file.
